A few people have chatted to me via private mail, asking for advice on having sex with animals. I would like to put down a few pointers for novices. Let's concentrate on dogs for this article, as they are the animal of my preference, and also I think they are the animal most furries will readily have access to. I will try to explain any jargon I use, but only briefly, as I don't wish this to be a technical discourse. If you need clarification on terms used here, comment to me on Alt.Sex.Bestiality or check a good 'Encyclopaedia of Dogs'. I am also only going to refer to animals that have not been de- sexed (in the case of males, having their testes surgically removed. In the case of females, having ovaries removed). I can't bear the thought of any animals of mine missing out on sexual pleasure. Even so, I know in any city dog populations are too high, and hundreds of dogs are destroyed daily. There are good arguments for de-sexing, but a responsible owner should be able to keep an entire animal without accidental litters (and still keep the animal sexually satisfied!)
Also note that when I refer to dogs, I mean any breed Labrador or larger. In my mind, anything smaller than a Labrador isn't really a dog. If I refer to a 'Giant Breed', I am talking in the category of English Mastiff, Great Dane, St. Bernard, Irish Wolfhound, Newfoundland, etc. These are REAL dogs.
The first rule that leaps to my mind is this:- the animal MUST BE CONSENTING!! If the animal is enjoying the experience of having sex with you, the sex is so much more fulfilling. If the animal is not enjoying it, you are committing rape. If you have to force the animal into anything, stop. I hope most of us would agree that we are animal lovers, sharing sex with our animal partners as a gift of pleasure. Any other attitude toward your animal partner makes you a loathsome, slimy reptile, unworthy of the status of a toad. So there.
Let's start with bitches
Bitches become sexually mature (depending on the size of the breed) at around 8-18 months. The larger the breed, in general, the later they will have their first heat (Oestrous, the bitch becomes fertile after a 5-7 day period of menstrual bleeding. Male dogs become insanely attracted to her scent, and will chew/dig through anything to get at her. This lasts for around 7 days, followed by another 5-7 days of menstrual bleeding. After that the bitch is no longer fertile. Her next heat will follow in six months).
Before her first heat, I would recommend a minimum of sexual activity. Let her discover her own place as a dog before confusing her with too much sexuality too soon. By all means caress her entire body, and around her vagina gently. Let her get used to your hands being everywhere on her, but avoid active stimulation of her clitoris at this stage. Cuddle her, and love her for the puppy she is. It is a good time for exploration of her body and genitals for you to get used to the differences between her and a human partner. You will notice that the entrance to her vagina is a 'Y' shape. The tail of the 'Y' points toward her front, and that is where her clitoris is. The lips are coated with a fine velvety fur.
During the early stages of her first heat, the bitch may become depressed, or even frightened by the sudden changes in her. She may start to wander off in search of a mate. Comfort her and be a friend to her, and don't let her escape off your property. It is now your responsibility, for the next three weeks, to ensure she isn't mated by the sudden hordes of randy male dogs hanging around your house. Let me recommend high wooden fencing, and a handy bucket of cold water for potential suitors.
After the first bleeding stops, her vagina entrance will have enlarged quite significantly. She may actively invite you to sex by turning her rump toward you, and flicking her tail aside every time you catch her eye. In other words, she is now horny, and it is up to you to relieve her.
Get naked. All the better to use you whole body in the act. Work with her as though she were human. That is, spend time caressing her, hugging her. Play with her nipples, which will have become larger and more sensitive with her heat. Arouse her as much as you can. When she is really turned on, her vagina will be well lubricated, and she will almost be begging you to make her cum. The best way to do this is to use one or two fingers. If you are a male, do NOT try inserting your dick into her unless she is one of the Giant Breeds, (or you have an exceptionally small dick). If you hurt her, she may become frightened of you, and will not enjoy the sex.
Move around behind her and insert one finger gently into her, slowly. If she isn't wet enough, use saliva or KY jelly. Don't use mineral oils or anything that isn't used for human sex. As your knuckle brushes past her clitoris, it is likely she will sharply hump her hips downward. This is normal. (It surprised the bejesus out of me the first time it happened) Slowly withdraw your finger, and repeat. She should start humping up and down on your finger quite strongly. Keep in time to her movements, pushing up as she humps down. Use your other hand to caress her nipples and stomach. She will cum fairly quickly and easily (this is why sex with animals is better than humans...). You can tell when she is, as you will feel her vaginal muscles squeezing on your finger and she will start convulsively licking her lips. Try to sustain her pleasure for as long as you can; play with her clitoris. Generally treat her as you would a lover.
If your bitch is one of the Giant breeds, and you are male, by all means screw her. Highly recommended in fact. She will hump your dick as readily as she will hump your finger. Crouch behind her (or have her stand on a slightly raised platform) and guide your dick into her with one hand. Her tail will probably get in the way (I don't believe in cropping tails either), so you will probably have to drape it over one of your legs. Use your other hand on her hip to steady yourself. When you have your dick firmly in her, you can grasp her hips with both hands and thrust into her. Mmmm, savor that warm, tight pussy. I usually like to bring her to orgasm by hand first, and then screw her afterwards, otherwise she tends to hump on my dick, and I will often fall out of her. Feel free to cum inside her. You will enjoy it immensely, and it is impossible to get her pregnant on human semen.
After you have both orgasmed, she will probably become very affectionate (if she enjoyed it) and playful. Lie with her for a bit, stroking her, and telling her you love her. You will communicate your feelings to her.
Don't feel constrained to wait for her next season for sex. Between heats, she will still be receptive to sex, but you may find she is a bit tighter. You will probably have difficulty inserting your penis fully into her. Don't force it; you don't ever want to hurt her, betraying her trust in you.
Some variations:- Suck on her nipples, with her standing or laying down. I find that very stimulating for both of us. You may like to lick her vulva and clitoris. I don't enjoy that much, but give it a go. She will love it. Not many dogs are into anal sex, but one or two don't mind. They seem to be the exception though. If your bitch doesn't like it, don't force it, or you will cause her to resent you. If she does like it, (as my bitch Xanth does) then anal sex is great. While your are screwing her arse, you can be masturbating her vagina. The sensations on your dick are, well, indescribable. Caution here:- NEVER move your dick from her anus to her vagina; you will carry bacteria, and it is likely she will get an unpleasant infection. The reverse is highly recommended though; going from her vagina to her anus, as you will be well lubricated, and it will be easier to enter her. I would also suggest you wash the feces off your dick afterward fairly quickly too.
For a change, you can screw her missionary style; her on her back, and you laying on top. Be prepared for frustration, as they don't quite seem to be built correctly to enter from that angle.
Bitches don't seem too keen on either human semen, or licking human vagina. Sorry. Again, Xanth is an exception, and it is quite pleasant to place my dick in the side of her mouth, and jerk myself off though her jowls. She does like the taste of my semen, and I do cum in her mouth (and she does swallow).
I think that is about the limit of what you can do with a bitch. They don't seem too keen on cross-dressing, or wearing rubber, so onward to male dogs.
The male dog
Dogs are the greatest sex-toy invented, for both men and women. They are ALWAYS horny, and get really enthusiastic about sex.
They will mature sexually around 8-10 months of age. As with bitches, try to avoid too much deliberate sexual activity before that age. Explore their genitalia and get used to how everything works. Their balls go from almost non-existent at 3 months of age to the serious pieces of sexual apparatus in a black velvet sac at 9 months. A dogs penis mostly stays hidden in his sheath, so get your dog used to you pulling his sheath back, exposing his dick. Caution here:- Do not expose a young dogs penis for too long. The pink flesh is VERY sensitive and can dry out. This is extremely painful for the dog, and he will have difficulty retracting it. Should this occur, lubricate it gently with generous quantities of KY jelly, baby oil, or any lubricant safe for sex, and carefully pull the sheath back over his penis.
Another note here. A dogs penis is very different from a human penis in shape. I'll give dimensions for Hamlet (my Great Dane). When the dog is fully sexually aroused, the tip of the penis is tapered to a point, with a small, round hole in the end. The taper widens sharply to a diameter of about an inch, then the shaft is about 4 inches long. This meets a swelling of flesh of almost 3 inches in diameter. This is his knot. Then there is a further inch or so of shaft, before it joins the flesh at his groin. Take a deep breath here, that is about 8 inches of dog-flesh! The entire length is more sensitive than the glans of a mans penis. At full arousal, the knot can either be hidden in the sheath, which stretches around it, or outside, with the sheath pulled right back. If it is fully exposed, you will have to wait for the swelling to recede before you can pull the sheath back down.
Masturbation. Jerking your dog off. Great! They love it; never seem to get enough (although, by the gods of Gorgonzola, I do my best to give them enough!).
Get naked. Heaps more fun. Caress your dog all over his body, around his rump, and over his balls. Tease him a bit. You can tell when they are REALLY turned on, they will butt their heads into your groin if you stop. When you and he are ready, kneel beside him (if you are right handed, kneel on his left side) facing slightly toward his rear. With your left hand, keep caressing him, scratching his head, back and chest. Reach under his belly with your right hand, and between his rear legs. Start by stroking his sheath, then actually hold it with your whole hand and pull it forward and backward along his dick. When he starts swelling, follow the contours of his knot inside his sheath with your fingers opening and closing as they pass over it. Do not touch the sensitive flesh at this stage, or he'll go soft on you, he won't enjoy it.
He will probably be humping his hips as you are rubbing him now, and you can increase your tempo to match his. While his knot is covered by the sheath, you can squeeze it quite hard, and pull on it quite strongly; it will increase the intensity of his orgasm. By now he should be squirting dog cum quite freely. It is almost clear for the first few squirts, and pales to a milky color later. Keep you fist closed around his knot, and undulate your fingers. Perfect the technique that your dog likes best. He will probably reach his head around and lick his penis while he's cumming. They like the taste of their own cum, and the feel of their tongues on their dicks.
At this point, you can sustain his pleasure, and increase your own by lightly tweaking the tip of his dick with the fingers of your left hand. Keep your other hand clasped around his sheath. You will be rewarded with a volley of fresh squirts of cum. At this stage, I often lick the tip with my tongue, or downright suck on his dick, and drink his cum. NO TEETH!! Don't even touch that sensitive flesh with your teeth!
Don't be afraid to swallow the dog-cum. It tastes slightly salty, and goes down the throat a lot easier than human cum. Highly recommended.
When his orgasm is starting to wane, he will probably just wander off, head down, dick hanging between his knees.
Girls, dogs love to mount people, and they are passionate, fiery lovers. Get naked. Play with your dog, and get him excited, and aroused. Let him lick your vagina, as that seems to act as a great stimulant for you both. For missionary style, sit on the edge of the bed, feet on the floor. Now pat your shoulders and invite your dog to put his paws up there. When he does, lie back, and he will walk his back feet forward between you legs until he is laying on your stomach, with his sheath right over your entrance. Lift your left leg and wrap it over his rump to pull him forward, as you use your right hand to guide his penis into your vagina. It helps to have a partner assisting here. It is easiest for the dog if you keep the tips of your fingers clasping his sheath as a guide when he starts humping into you; it helps stop him pulling out too far.
Caution:- if your dog is one of the Giant Breeds, DON'T try to 'tie' with him. When dogs are mating, the knot at the base of their penis swells and lodges inside the bitch, and they get stuck together for up to half an hour, unable to separate. Part of natures delightful way of increasing the chance of impregnation. If you are unable to accommodate a swelling of flesh almost as large as a tennis ball, you may get badly injured (try explaining THAT away at the Accident and Emergency department of the local Hospital!). Seriously though, if he swells inside you, and you aren't able to accommodate him, you will be stuck, in extreme pain, for up to half an hour. If you are unsure, buy a sex toy of similar dimensions as your dogs dick, and practice on that. When it becomes natural and pleasurable, by all means, tie with your dog. Heather has told me that being tied to Hamlet is both erotic, and very fulfilling. He will cum inside you, and that is quite erotic, and you cannot get pregnant from a dog. Go for it, and good luck!
Letting your dog mount you 'doggy style' is quite natural for the dog, and satisfying too. As above, play with him, get him excited, and then just bend over. For smaller breeds (German Shepherd, Labrador etc.) you will probably have to kneel. Pat your back, and rump, inviting him to mount. He will place his paws on your back. Just bend right over, and he will slide forward and enter you almost effortlessly. It is likely you now have long, red scratches down your back from his claws. Oh well, just say you have a passionate lover! Again, reach around and guide his dick with your hand. He will hump quite enthusiastically, so will need some guidance, and restraint. If he does tie to you, he may want to step off you, and turn away, so you are rump to rump, with him still tied into you. This is natural, as it is how they mate normally with bitches.
Men, you can let your dog mount you, and screw you in the same way. I can't seem to get Hamlet to enter me missionary style, but I am sure it's possible with other dogs. Experiment with that one and let me know. Doggy style though, is easy, and very fulfilling. The same caution applies as above. DON'T tie with Giant Breeds, unless you have practiced on something the same size. The first time I tied with my first mature Giant (a Newfie called Stan) I couldn't accommodate his huge knot, and he tore out of me. I had rectal bleeding for a week. Nice huh? Don't say I didn't warn you.
A variation for both men and woman is to have your dog lie on his back on the bed. Straddle him with your knees, facing forward, and lower yourself onto his penis. You can reach around and scratch his balls while you are riding him, or bend forward and let him lick your face. Both are good fun.
Screwing your dogs anus; well, I've said it before, most dogs aren't interested in arse-play. Hamlet isn't dead keen on it, but will tolerate it while he is orgasming. In fact it seems to intensify his orgasm if I screw him in the final stages of jerking him off. Use PLENTY of lubrication; Too much is nearly enough. Use the same technique as for vaginal intercourse with a bitch; drape his tail over one of your thighs and guide your dick into his hole with one hand, pulling his hips back with your other hand. If he doesn't like it at this stage, he will try and get away. DON'T force him to comply with your perverted desires if he doesn't want to.
If all is going well, you can reach around and tweak the tip of his dick with your fingers. You will feel his rectal muscles clamping onto your dick as he squirts. Very pleasant. Don't spend too long with your dick inside him, or he will get annoyed and not let you near his rear again. Just thrust into him gently a few times. If you are like me, you will find this so stimulating you cum almost instantly anyway. After you withdraw, praise your dog and cuddle him, fondly him, and make him feel good about you, then go and wash your dick well.
In my experience, all male dogs like the taste of human semen. Whether you just want to quickly jerk off, or after a sustained love-making session with a human partner, let your dog clean you up. They have very soft tongues, and are very careful and gentle. You are denying yourself and your dog a great deal of pleasure if you don't let him lick up your semen.
A couple of extra points about male dogs:- it is more pleasant sucking on their dicks after they have a bath. It is quite natural for a male dog to have a build-up of a mixture of body fluids, dead skin, and general scum inside their sheath. It probably won't kill you, but the thought of it in my mouth makes me feel queasy, so a quick cleaning session is called for.
Dogs are great partners in threesomes (in any combinations of humans and dogs). Experiment, have fun.
Spend some time during your love-making with your doggy partner to praise them, and re-assure them. Fondle them, cuddle them, and generally treat them like an equal. They are giving the gift of their love to you too, so don't take them for granted. Afterward, lie with them, hug them, talk softly to them.
If you own a dog, and don't have sex with them, think on this; Dogs love sex. They enjoy the sensations of orgasm, and unless you help them to achieve it, cannot achieve it themselves. Think on how frustrated you would be if you couldn't even masturbate yourself when you were horny. As a dog owner, you have taken the animal from his natural habitat where he would mate at every opportunity if he could, and put him in an environment where sex just isn't available. If you love your dog, you should extend the gift of sexual release toward him or her. It will deepen their love for you, and your love for them. I'm not asking you to engage in wild sexual odysseys with your dog (I can highly recommend it as fun, though!!), but at least you could jerk off your male dog, or rub the clitoris of your bitch to relieve them. It isn't unhealthy, it isn't sick, it isn't even perverted (I mean, animal breeders do it for a living). It is love.